The rain falls. It's only a few degrees above freezing.
Why do I nearly never have activity-encouraging, nice weather on a day I'm not working?
To spare me the guilt of wasting one more easily wonderful? I want sunshine. *sigh*

Had uneasy dreams last night/this morning. Yesterday, too, but I have no clue what those ones were about. My most recent was a camping trip: cabin in the woods, Mom and Katie, other girls, other people--likely a Girl Scout gathering, but not necessarily, and not at a familiar site. I led a quest for real toilets as we were setting up, late afternoon.
I got us slightly lost.
My younger companions revealed that they were idiots who were letting me lead them blindly when they had maps. I found this out when we came across a guy and his friend, fishing, and asked if they knew the way. *flutter* Out come the maps, and a "would you show us" chorus, which was frustrating 'cause I could've followed the stupid thing had I known of its existence.
As usual, the map was an interesting bit of paper. It was in color, showing the same season as the surroundings (early Autumn), and it wasn't fixed. The guy rotated and shifted the items on the map to make our destination the center point, without moving the paper it was printed on. ...Obviously, not something print can actually do.
I realize internet, technology capabilities make this much less intriguing/impressive, but I love that this still happens in my dreams. It's recurrent.
We arrived at the fine-gravel parking lot, and met up with others camping nearby. It became a bit too crowded, so I backed away. I was waiting for some of these people to clear out. It was noisy.
I soon learned that inside the nearby building, poison ivy prevention was offered. Sounded like a good idea.
But I preferred risking the poison ivy, after all. What sort of protective measure involves power drills? Freaky. Even my dream-self thought so. Wasn't this supposed to be a cream? Or a *shudder* shot? I think it was an exaggeration of a needle...
In any case, I wasn't happy. And I woke up. Not nightmare level, not terror...but not very nice.

>>>
I notice I'm more often fragile of mood, lately, but I notice my mood more lately, and have cycled back into a psyche self-evaluation period.
I need some sunshiny empty-headedness.
On the other hand, I like feeling creative, and my increased tendencies toward solitude lead to that, somehow.
I've been assaulted by story plotbunnies again, and wonder if I will actually do something about them while they're active, and I've been reading more [which is, indeed, very possible]; I haven't put my crocheting aside yet, though after Christmas the impulse usually goes dormant; the piano has been tuned and I dusted off a couple songs I used to play; I accomplish very little but write to-do lists filled with grand intentions.
All in all, I feel well. Just finding it of note that I feel anxious without cause and claustrophobic effects are higher than they were.
[I can't stand as peacefully in the shut-down-but-still-warm oven anymore. I also won't let it prevent me, so it seems I went in more rather than less often today. Stubborn XD ]

Work today ended well! I had little necessary to do, ended that with time to spare *gasp* and got to play around building icing roses with our store's cake decorator and another who is shadowing her to see the responsibilities involved to be moved (we think) to her own store. They boosted my ego and say they think I could decorate, also.
I'm not sure how much of my enjoyment is the novelty, or else I'd really be pursuing the attempt. Still, fun. ^_^

My latest dream involved driving southwest of my house through areas of greater countryside, headed somewhere for Katie. But I left my map at home, and *shrug* didn't know how to get where I was supposed to. I was fetched, instead. But no one really cared. Peaceful.

A mostly forgotten reason I don't usually read horror novels: they give ammunition to my nightmares.
This is the first time I can ever recall being stalked by anything resembling a mummy. Ridiculous, really...

So. It just so happened that I, and friends, and family, were at a park in this dream. Track and field competitions nearby, but no one I'm specifically interested in, and I am old enough in this dream to have graduated. [staying my true age, not something that can be taken for granted in a dream.] I am in a Good Mood, not the slightest bit bothered by us having missed the city bus. [What's Grandma doing here? And buses don't run on rails!] We crossed broad streets on foot while the traffic stopped at lights... My older sister was ahead and I was tracking her progress to see where we should follow, and then I dashed off--running along the sidewalk and leaping when I felt like it, light enough on my feet to only touch down every half-block. [I can do this in pleasant dreams. *grin*] The trees are green and in leaf, and I test how high I can jump straight up while beside one--not over the maple's height, but almost equal to mid-canopy, or about thirty feet, at my highest. Such fun. And of course, had to show off to Sarah, who was impressed and began calling other's attention to me.

Next in the dream, I was trying the difficult method of gaining height without jumping first--namely, flying. "Think happy thoughts" pretty much sums it up, as you have to be rather euphoric to be successful. Success feeds success, and failure causes failure. So, I was happy enough to give it a try, but nervous because last time it didn't work as well as it could, and that fear meant I was struggling, and struggling meant that next time I tried I might not get myself off the ground at all, and that added some desperation, which is not a good emotion to have when trying to fly, etc. I moved to the ladder ropes, and hovered inches over what would have been holds, sort of miming climbing.
And then came the turn of events.

Young person comes with awful news about the return of evil what-have-you, all she can do is give warning though she's not supposed to, but I have no idea how to stop it this time [wait, I was at all a part of a small group which halted supernatural evil before but now the two who knew what they were about are dead? @_@] I sag into the ropes, and they become less support, more reminiscent of helpless entanglement, as above, a shirtless man shoves a blonde-haired mother off the platform with the high slide, and she falls--to her death? Maybe not, but injured, certainly.
I'm so heavy, and somehow I become the target of this life-draining man-who-ought-to-be-dead. Where I've kicked him in the side to escape becomes gaunt, and injury and time is represented on him by a spreading hollowness and stretching of features. The worse he looks the more endangered I am, and he gets ugly. Some function of a magic circle has designated me as a necessary next victim, so that I'm priority over all the other panicking people I know in this park. Great, really...if I had the slightest idea how to stop this, which I haven't. I just keep running...
It's not resolved before I wake up, but at least I woke up, yes? ^_^;

A week or two ago I read the first four Tanya Huff Blood books. Let's see, the mummy was in the third...so, Blood Lines is the source of this villain. Technically, the first three are dark fantasy, not horror, which is why I still enjoyed reading them, I guess ;)

The house is quiet, and I may be loud. This is about the nicest novel, yet familiar, environment imaginable. I just started singing a short time ago, some cheerful, wordless improvised melody--can't remember the last time I did that, at least this sustained and non-hummed. Besides, similar improvs are usually haunting/lamenting and make me tear up. *shrugs* Don't really know why. (And no, you probably will never witness it. That's sorta the point--I don't when there's someone in earshot.) Kinda bizarre, but fun. And I'm really repetitive, till I move onto another line, another key.

And it just became 3 am...chime, chime, chime :)

I was hardly this happy a few hours ago, and work was terrible, so I'm a bit surprised at my mood. Oh, well!
I finally reached my family, and found it reassuring. I was actually supposed to call them back again later, but didn't retry after dialing a busy-signal response the first try--I feel bad about it, but not to the degree I probably ought to. I just needed to speak to one of them in real time, because being denied the option was driving me mad. Now that the option is available and they're coming home tomorrow, there really isn't anything I want to say that can't easily wait.

I told Katie the remembered part of my dream and have since pegged part of its origin. ( Read more... )

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am particularly grateful for good friends who kept me happily diverted when I was having difficulty contacting my absent family.


Eek! The size of the mosquito I just squished while sitting at the computer desk. DIE, MOSQUITO!


*Ahem.* I am happily making plans for the fast-dwindling time I'll have at home before the family returns. I don't think I'll actually get the house cleaned so we can decorate for Christmas and put up the tree, but it's a nice thought.